Monthly Archives: May 2014

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Plane, Train, or Automobile

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Dear Ellie:

I don’t have any big metaphors today I just to make sure I tell you to travel. See new worlds my baby don’t ever be afraid to step outside your front door. Whether it’s going from the south side to the north side new experiences are waiting for you. And make sure you use your resources, if you make a friend that moves to London hop on a plane and go! (I’m sure your God Father will move somewhere exotic by the time you’re able to travel alone so go visit.) Every time you experience a new country, city, or town your world view expands a bit more and you see things a little differently. See as much as you can, and go as far as you can. You don’t have to be afraid to travel because there will always be a home waiting for you. Home is where you are loved and comfortable. When you travel you won’t know the people and it may even get a little scary but that’s life my baby. You realize what you’re capable of when you allow yourself to experience discomfort. The love and comfort of home will always be here, in fact you can carry it with you in your heart when you travel so JUST GO…what’s stopping you? Nothing at all in fact the world is waiting!

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl sitting comfortably on her side of town…grab a bus card, buy a train ticket, apply for a study abroad scholarship. Do whatever you have to do but go make some memories…and not the same ones you made yesterday. You never know what’s out there for you if you don’t go looking. And you may have a million reasons (excuses) why you can’t but you can find a way or make one to do anything…I promise you that!

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The Fast Lane

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Dear Ellie:

Mommy and Daddy spend A LOT of time in the car…commuting to work, running errands, road tripping with you, and so on and so forth. Thanks to you though my baby everything has new meaning and I’m learning to see the lessons and blessings in even the most mundane things, like traffic! Today as I drove home I thought about lanes. In life there will be times that you will be in the fast lane, times you’ll be in the passing lane, and times you’ll be in the far lane realizing your exit is coming up. You will also share those lanes and my baby I guarantee you that everyone is not a good driver. There are drivers who will cut you off and try to steal your place in the lane just to get two cars ahead. There will also be drivers who when they see you trying to get over will block your way because they don’t want you to pass them. And there will be drivers who are just in the totally wrong lane, speeding in the slow lane or going at the pace of a snail in the fast lane. As your Pops always told me when I was learning to drive “it’s not your driving I’m worried about it’s everyone else’s out there.”. So my baby drive defensively. Not so defensively that you don’t let people into your lane or cut in front of you when they ask nicely but make sure you pay attention. Every driver is not a good one and there will be times when you just have to let some of them pass for your own well being. Don’t waste your energy in road rage getting angry at those you felt wronged you because they will keep on driving and not think twice. Your goal is to get safely to your destination, of which you’ll have many. Sometimes you’ll be in the car pool lane with someone along for the ride helping you get through the traffic. Whatever experiences you have on the road of your life enjoy it, pay attention, and say a prayer before you go because you never know what’s waiting for you on the road.

Love You Always

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl racing down life’s highway slow down young girl. I promise you the road stretches on for miles and miles. Don’t be in such a rush give yourself time to get there.

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A Caged Bird Freed

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Dear Ellie:

Today the world lost the physical presence of an amazing woman. We lost a woman who faced more than her fair share of adversity to say the least. That remarkable woman that we lost today is Dr. Maya Angelou. She was once a beautiful bird that racism, rape, and teenage motherhood tried to cage. But in spite of it all Dr. Maya Angelou continued to rise. Today all across various sites on the internet there were Maya Angelou quotes that were all so inspiring, beautiful, and full of love. When I first was alerted to the news of her death I stopped in my tracks for a moment and was truly taken aback. There are some spirits that you never expect to move on, even with full understanding of how short life is, and for me Dr. Maya Angelou is one of those spirits. But then I saw those quotes and it dawned on me how truly immortal she is. I call her immortal not because of her words but because of the feelings her words can stir up in a person. Dr. Angelou was once quoted as saying “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I’m not sure that truer words were ever spoken my baby. Memories will fade, good or bad, but a feeling can be felt all over again as though no time has passed. There are a ton more quotes from Dr. Angelou that I will share with you throughout life because, as I promised before, I will ensure that you know YOUR history. The history of this great woman is now in the hands of mommies like me to teach babies like you. We are all connected my baby. In fact just last week I googled the title of this blog just to see what came up and I saw a book of Dr. Angelou’s that I had not read before titled: Letter to my Daughter”. I never had the privilege of meeting Dr. Angelou but I surely took it as a sign that this blog is something I should share…again it was a feeling. Love bug I am going to leave with two things, 1. A promise to share Dr. Angelou’s brilliance with you and 2. Dr. Maya Angelou’s poem “Phenomenal Woman”. There is no way to read this poem and not feel amazing about every inch of you. I hope to hear you one day recite this poem with the excitement and confidence intended to accompany it.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I Love you My phenomenal baby!

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl yet to experience the words of Dr. Maya Angelou start here with this poem then indulge in her wisdom. There’s a bit of the kind of woman she was in each of us and that means you can be just as phenomenal!

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New Beginnings

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Dear Ellie:

New beginnings can be so exciting. In fact its one of the things I love most about seeing you grow up. Everything is so new and exciting to you. Its almost like I get a new beginning too. Holidays this past year because they were your first were just as exciting for me this past year as they were when I was a child. What brings excitement to new beginnings is the freshness of them. So today I want to tell you my baby that it is possible to start fresh. When life throws a curve ball at you or you just find yourself stuck in a routine that you’re not happy with allow your self to move forward and start fresh. The mistakes of your past can turn into quick sand, keeping you stuck in the same pool of guilt and shame, but only if you let them. I’ll tell you a secret: EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES! The key to moving past them is owning up to them. You can’t learn the lesson you were supposed to learn from a mistake if you’re busy trying to bury it. Instead put that energy into a fresh start. Whatever it is keeping you from starting fresh…LET IT GO my baby, for the sake of your sanity LET IT GO. And I don’t mean a superficial saying you don’t care when you really do letting go, I mean a true make peace with the situation and yourself and move forward kind of letting go. Whatever it is that you think is to big to handle its not…you can do this trust me. And whenever you feel like its too much to handle I promise to be here for you to unload on. God didn’t give me the strength to carry you for nothin’ my baby. I promise to hold you up when the world weighs you down and to push you forward toward that fresh start…always.

 

Love You Always,

Mommy

 

P.S. To the girl hiding from herself because she’s embarrassed, ashamed, hurt, or feeling anything else that’s weighing her down I double dog dare you to let it go. Take ownership over your present and future and soon you will realize you hold the rights to your past too. You can’t control what people do or how they feel about you but can take charge of your life and the sooner you do the better. 

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Memorial Day

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Dear Ellie:

You were born into a world where war is constantly in session. Unfortunately it’s likely by the time you read this a new war will be upon us. However while I wish there could be peace in the world and that soldiers didn’t have to fight on behalf of people like you and I they do. And often those soldiers give their lives. So while you don’t have to agree with war and I hope you will be a beacon of peace for those that meet you, I also hope that you will always respect those who choose to fight until the worlds finds peace. If you see a soldier say thank you…it doesn’t have to be more or less than that. Keep in mind they are not guaranteed to be able to be present on another Veterans Day as opposed to being remembered on Memorial Day any more than anyone else is guaranteed their next breath. A simple gesture of respect can go along way so never hesitate to extend it.

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl who grew up to serve and gave her life without hesitation…THANK YOU.

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Hear it, see it, speak it

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Dear Ellie:

There’s a saying that goes hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. I never really put much thought into it until earlier when I thought about the opposite hear good, see good, speak good. I realized then that it’s just another way of saying, something I’m sure you will have heard me say by now, the power of life and death is in the tongue. No matter how small or overwhelmed you may feel you have the power to change your situation by changing your outlook. Speak life into whatever it is that you feel is failing. But my baby before you do that be still and listen, make sure you are hearing what’s really intended for your life when you ask for guidance. There will be times that you will focus on something you think you want so badly that you will rush to speak life into something that was meant to be left in the dust. Which is why it’s so important not to skip the first step “hearing”. You also have to see good for yourself. When you feel far away from your goals you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and see yourself already there. Don’t wait until you’ve “made it” to see yourself there. Your outlook of your journey to success will be much different (not easier but different) if you picture yourself as already successful. There’s power in viewing something as a lesson instead of a set back. So whether you write it down, talk to yourself in the mirror, or anything else you have to visualize the good. Then my baby you definitely have to SPEAK good into your life. You can speak the impossible into reality if you just have faith. More than that though be sure you surround yourself who speak good for you to hear, who you see as good in your life, and who speak life into you (when you’re around and when you’re not) and be sure you do the same for them. Your uncle or Khalu as you probably call him by now spoke such positive energy and life into my idea of starting this blog for you and it’s moments and people like that will help you to press forward when don’t think you have it in you. Faith, will, and determination are stronger than any obstacle that will be thrown your way because it helps you to keep your joy. Combine that with support and you are unstoppable my baby. So when those obstacles pop up, as they always will, take a pause and remember to hear, see, and speak the good you want in your life my baby.

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl feeling lost, alone, set back, or like a failure….you’re not any of those things. I full heartedly believe that you are always exactly where you are supposed to be and if you’re not where you want to be then focusing on the problem will not move you forward. Speak life where you thought your goals, dignity, self respect, or dreams had died. You can do it just believe it!

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Point of it All

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Dear Ellie:

When Mommy and Daddy got married our wedding song was “Point of it All” by Anthony Hamilton and every time we go to a wedding or hear that song played it brings me back to my wedding day. There was so much love in the room that day and I felt love beaming from the look in Daddy’s eyes as I walked down the aisle. I truly hope that you are able to see and feel love around you because I strongly believe that it’s the point of it all. Life is better when you spend it with people you love, do what you love, and give love. I pray that no matter what, you don’t allow yourself to become so jaded that you loose hope in love. In its purest form, love is the closest we get to heaven on earth. When the winds are blowing and times are tough it’s love that will give you peace and make you remember what’s truly important. If one day you wake up and realize you have put love of whatever kind on the back burner stop and do some reevaluating. I can’t tell you how long any of us have on Earth but I can tell you that love makes how ever long we have worth it. When I’ve had a long day, I’m frustrated, or down there is nothing that picks me up faster than seeing you and Daddy smile. When I think about the sacrifices I make I never have to wonder “what’s the point”. You are the point my baby, a perfect reflection of the love you were created from. I admire how you love so fearlessly in your innocence. What ever it is that will make you happy whether it’s a hug from mommy, a spin from daddy, or “petting” the dog you just go for it. I know life will teach you boundaries and a healthy amount of fear but don’t ever let it stop you from loving because if you’re not using your heart what’s the point?

I love you always my baby

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl (or broken woman) who looked for love to soon or to long in the wrong places it’s ok to stop, reevaluate, and find a way to love yourself again. Start loving yourself and it will flow from there.

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Have a Seat

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Dear Ellie:

Today Daddy and I were stuck in what felt like stand still traffic for about 30 minutes. We had no choice but to just sit and wait for our turn to move. It reminded me that sometimes in life you too my baby will have to sit and wait. But I hope you realize during those times when it feels like you’re going no where things are always working around you and there are always things to be grateful for whether it’s that you have a good working vehicle to sit in, a healthy body to wait with or that you have someone who loves you to help pass the time. Remember you can always make the choice to focus on the good. There is good to be found in the times of waiting it is during those times we learn and exercise patience which is truly a blessing. If you are impatient you can rush in to a place that you didn’t intend to end up at. Be patient my baby there is a reason you are waiting and you have to have faith in that even during the times when it’s not your place to know why you’re waiting (which is most of the time). Sometimes once you get past your road block you’ll see it was wreck thar you were saved from or construction where something had to be worked on to possibly make the road easier in the future and then sometimes my baby you will break through traffic and feel like there was traffic for no reason at all but there’s always a reason so just be grateful for the break through. Just continue to focus on your destination and you will arrive exactly when you are supposed to trust me. I promise to never let you wait alone just keep moving my baby the road may be long but you will make it!

Love you always

Mommy

P.S. The same goes for every girl wondering when it will be her time. It’s always your time whether it’s your time to prepare yourself or your time in the spotlight each phase is important so you’re never really stuck even though it feels that way just focus on the positive and keep pushing soon enough the traffic will clear and you will press forward!

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A Flip of the Hair

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Dear Ellie:

I always knew that when I had a daughter she was pretty much destined for a full thick head of hair and sure enough you came into the world with a gorgeous full head of curls. I can’t predict what the hair trends will be as you grow up but I can promise to help you to always love the hair growing from your head. But I won’t stop there I promise to help you love every part of your natural self. Step 1 in my plan to do that is to be an example for you. It dawned on me when your two front teeth came in that you would have a gap between those teeth just like Mommy a gap that I had been pondering getting closed (for the second time…just a tip if you get braces don’t loose your retainer). Seeing you with the same gap made me change my mind for the same reason that I’ve chosen not to straighten my hair more often…because I want you to grow up with confidence in what God provided you with and I think the best way to do that is to reflect it in myself. So whether you choose to straighten your hair, get braces, wear high heels if you end up with mommy’s height, or anything else be sure you are able to make those choices from a place where you are comfortable with yourself just how you are when you wake up. You are gorgeous my baby from your curly hair strands to your unpainted toe nails anything you add will not increase your beauty only compliment it because you are already created in the most beautiful light. I love you more than I could ever put in words my baby and I hope that love pours out and forms a solid foundation for you to love yourself just as much. And on those days when your curls just won’t behave or you doubt yourself as young girls often do I’ll be here to reassure you until you can find your way back to confidence.

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the young girl who thinks she needs anything extra to showcase her beauty you don’t! Certainly one of the most fun parts of being a girl can be playing dress up but before you add the extras remember to stop look in the mirror and tell yourself you beautiful because you truly are enough just as you are God made sure of that!

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No Pain No Gain

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Dear Ellie:

I love our morning work outs, I actually think you have better squat form than me. You are the best work out partner I could have you cheer me on and push me when I’d rather not spend one more second planking because I want to set the example for you to KEEP GOING even when its tough. There’s a saying “no pain no gain” and its true you have to work for what you want whether it’s your waistline back after becoming a mommy or the perfect job. Whatever it is you want in life love bug you have to put in the work. I pray you never take your blessings as a sign that things will be handed to you. Your parents, grand parents, great grand parents, and so on and so forth all work/worked hard to provide for themselves and their families. So I hope to never hear you say that you want something then see you sitting and waiting for it to happen. You have to dream big then wake up and hit the ground running. And yes there will be times that you will have to wait for your blessing to come but it is in that time that you prepare yourself for what is meant for you. Continue to walk in the direction of your dreams my baby life is about forward movement. Keep working and keep striving you were born to be great, break records, set new standards, and reach beyond the highest expectations but you have to work through the growing pains to gain the blessings entitled to you. I don’t promise that it’ll be easy in fact at times it will be really tough but have confidence in knowing that what God has intended for you is for you alone and no one else’s blessings will take away from yours so focus on your goals and go for it my love bug!! And always remember my baby when it gets rough and you can’t hold that plank one more second I’ll always be here to return the favor and cheer you on.

Love You Always

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl (or the little girl inside you) daydreaming about what she really wants to do go do it NOW. Maybe it won’t happen overnight but its better to spend your time working toward a dream than simply wishing for it. The first step is better than no step at all on any day.