Dear Ellie:

You can plan a pretty picnic but you can’t predict the weather. (A quote made famous to my generation by Andre 3000…and as my child I expect you to know who that is) That is probably one of the truest things I’ve ever heard; you can only control but so much in life and believe me weather isn’t one of them. Nonetheless we continue to tune into the news to catch the local weather man’s report…and then complain when he’s wrong. Truth be told there is nothing wrong with trying to be prepared. As your Daddy would say its better to have and not need than need and not have. This practice though can become a problem when we start listening to the “whethermen” in our lives, the ones who will try to make you believe they know whether or not you should do something or whether or not you’re making the “right choices”. Sometimes these people mean well and are simply trying to use the information they know to help prepare you. But my baby some are really just dark clouds always assuming that the worst will happen to you, encouraging you to carry an umbrella of fear when the sun is shining brightly. That’s when you have to trust your instincts and say I choose to believe in positivity and to appreciate the sunshine even if the clouds are rolling in over in the distance. Because even if it rains unexpectedly in life, as it will, you were built to weather what ever storms come your way. And you don’t always need to rely on a “whetherman” to tell you what to do. Sometimes its about taking a chance and experiencing it. If you go out and there’s a chill in the air you learn that you need to bring a jacket along for the ride sometimes just like in life you will learn different situations requires different mindsets, preparation, etc. No one can tell you with 100% certainty what will come day to day. Just do your best to enjoy the sunshine and don’t fear the rain you’ll find that sometimes all you can do is dance in it. And for those really scary storms the ones that come without warning and bring thunder, rain, wind, and lightning..well there’s a beauty in surviving it.

Love you always,

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl dealing with a world of criticism…a world that tells hers whether she’s too fat, too tall, or just too different..change the channel! Not every whether report is accurate, and honestly its off a lot of the time. And remember to take each report, especially from those who actually care, for what it is in its entirety. Just because there will be rain in the morning doesn’t mean you should stay in all day and just because someone says it may be a challenge for you it doesn’t mean you should give up. Sometimes even if the weather report calls for rain you just have to grab your jacket and hope for the best.

Dear Ellie:

I’m still reflecting on my trip to Brazil and I can’t wait until you’re old enough to handle an international flight (well for both of us to be able to handle it). There’s so much I want you see and experience. I hope you start earlier than me and go further when it comes to travel because there’s so many different things out there in the world. But what I realized most on this last trip was that we as humans are a lot more alike than we often realize and so much power and peace is lost when we forget that. There are people everywhere who struggle, who smile, who love, and who dream. I had a chance to visit a family in a favela in São Paulo and I was so in awe of how the mother’s story was to so many mothers I’ve had the chance to work with. I don’t say that to take anything away from her because no ones experience is made from a cookie cutter mold and everyone deserves to be acknowledged for who they are and how they’ve experienced life but it helps to remember we aren’t alone either. In that moment standing in her home listening to her story, even as she told it in a language I could barely understand, I started thinking of how I could help and what brought strength to others I had met with similar stories. Just imagine what we’re missing by assuming we have nothing to offer each other because we’re different. Different skin tones, different countries, different incomes they are all just categories and no one fits neatly into just one. Even as I looked at the people around me in Brazil I realized that so many of them, had history taken their ancestors on a different journey, could’ve have been my friend, colleague, or classmate. Sometimes all that separates us is geography, or religion, or what we thought was right. But I promise to challenge you to look for the similarities and the common ground. Anyone can point out differences but it takes something more to look past those and find a connection that could serve a better purpose and in the end make you a better you. 

Love you always, 

Mommy

P.S. I know that with glitz, glamour, and celebrity being so highly celebrated it seems like we’re all on different playing fields; and in some cases that’s true. But you can’t spend your life worried about how different you are, or how you’ll never have what some else has. Truth is it doesn’t matter. We are all more alike than we may like to admit but we each have a unique path to take. Our differences can help us stand out while our universal similarities can bring us together…celebrate them both.