Tag Archives: beauty

1

Shady Queens

|

Dear Ellie:

When you look at the women in your family you will see so many beautiful complexions. From fair and flawless to dark and divine there are queens of all shades around you. I remember when you were just a tiny baby, only a few months old, and me and Daddy watched a program on women who had issues with skin tone and many prayed for their daughters to be of a light skin tone. Me and Daddy both said we prayed for the opposite a pretty brown baby that was our complexion. Now I look at you enjoying the sunshine with your caramel kissed skin, that’s lighter than mommy’s, you have no worries of “getting to dark” or what it means to have someone say “you’re pretty for a brown girl”. But as I sat having a discussion with some of the queens in your family this past weekend I quickly remembered that one day you just might have someone try to interject these thoughts into your mind. Don’t ever forget how beautiful you are my baby not in spite of or because of any one thing like skin tone or hair texture…you simply are what you are which is beautiful. And my baby while you’re remembering your own beauty and walking with your own head high remember that every woman around you should be wearing a crown too. Unfortunately in our world some of the women you meet will have had someone in their life who snatched that crown through harsh words and criticisms but that doesn’t mean it can’t be earned back. Sometimes its as simple as telling the lady in front of you in the grocery store she looks nice…no explanation needed. For all you know you may give her the compliment that reminds her to start looking in the mirror and telling herself the same. There is no objective standard of beauty my baby its all subjective. Everyone has an opinion and a preference and that is fine but what is important is that you can 1. appreciate the beauty you’ve been given and 2. learn to see it in others. Your Uncle is amazing at this he sees beauty and goodness in EVERYONE (Mommy’s still working on it) and I hope you learn that being around him. History has tried and, though I hate to say it, often succeeded at dividing people of color by their color. I can say it no plainer than to blatantly tell you light skin women are no prettier and dark skin women are no smarter than the next its all about your mindset. In fact I think its amazing that you can look at the women who share the same DNA as you and see so many beautiful variations. So there is no need to stand in the shade my baby. Stand right there in the sun like you do now and let the sun work its miracle and bring out the browness of your heritage. No matter what cruel words may come your way, whether directed at you or around you, I hope these words that I write to you and plan to tell you daily ring out the loudest you are beautiful and your beauty doesn’t lessen anyone else’s…there is room for all of us in the sun.

 

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl who gets made fun of for being “light bright” or “to dark” I know it hurts but remind yourself you are someone’s idea of the most beautiful girl in the world. If you don’t think its possible then first you have to convince yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful and let your thoughts become your truth. And to the little girl making fun of the other little girl who doesn’t look like her…be a queen. Queens don’t rule with nastiness…I mean who ever dreamed of being the wicked witch instead of the princess.

5

Mirror Mirror

|

Dear Ellie:

This past weekend while at the grocery store a nice lady approached us and complemented you on how pretty you were and then told me that you looked just like me. Even though I think you are the perfect mix of Mommy and Daddy we often get that compliment while out and about. I’m not sure if people realize how big that is to me or if they are just making an observation, probably the latter. But my baby I don’t think I’ve ever received a bigger or better compliment than when people say you remind them of me or that you look just like me. Sometimes I even catch myself off guard looking through the thousands of pictures I’ve taken of you and have to agree that it really is like looking in a mirror some days. Can you imagine someone comparing you to your picture of perfection…talk about an ego boost! You are gorgeous my baby with your chubby cheeks, beautiful eyes that melt my heart, that head full of curls, and of course the smile that can brighten my whole week in an instant. I might stan so hard for you because you’re my baby but you truly are undeniably gorgeous. It’s not just your features though love bug it’s the brightness around you that brings out your beauty. And it’s that light that shines over you that I hope you never loose. I also hope that as you grow if people keep telling you that we look alike or that you remind them of me I hope that makes you smile. As I got older family and friends would start to say wow you are starting to look like your mom which is in stark contrast to being my Daddy’s twin from the day I was born. In my heart though I know its not really a change in features but more so that as I grew older I began to take on traits that I learned from my Mommy. The way she carried herself, the way she demanded respect, her confidence, and definitely her sassiness are all traits that before I knew it became my own. So in thinking about this I have decided even more so that if our mothers are our first mirrors in which we see ourselves as women then I promise your mirror will reflect the very best of you. I remember being pregnant with you and being very aware of the things I said and the music I listened to. Now as I have conversations with you that I know you can’t quite understand, yet I believe they reach your spirit, and I write you these open letters that you can’t read yet I have watched my words turn into actions. Thank you my baby for making me better and helping me to remember that there is always a higher plateau to reach. There is nothing wrong with becoming a better person by your own definition despite the backlash you may receive from people who say “you’ve changed”. In that same breath when you grow up it will be you looking back in the mirror not anyone else so live by your own expectations not anyone else’s. If you can focus on that, your own continuous journey, you will also find you have less and less time or energy to judge the journey of those around you. What is for you is for you. There are a million lessons, laughs, experiences, destinations, etc out there waiting that have been designed just for you. Don’t delay your blessings worrying about those whose time on your journey has ended or whose role in your play has changed. That light that I hope you keep comes from being free of unhealthy relationships, focusing on the positive, and loving yourself. When you can look in your mirror and see all the beauty God created in you it is so much easier to see it every where else as well. When I realized my Mommy was my mirror I was so proud and in awe of her. She loves her family with every ounce of her being and to be compared to someone like that is humbling. So I promise to work every single day to make you proud, to provide you with opportunities big and small, and to be an example of the type of woman you don’t have to be but wouldn’t mind being.

Love You Always,

Mommy

 

P. S. To the little who is searching for a mirror that reflects the kind of beauty she hopes to see, they are out there. Mirrors are everywhere in your coach, the lady that sits down the row from you at church, your best friend, the list goes on. Search for beauty in your community and before you know it you will see it in yourself too. And if you haven’t found that mirror become one. Everyday new little girls are born into this world and every single one of them could use someone that reflects the greatness they are capable of.