Tag Archives: daughter. mom

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If You Were a Girl

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Dear Ellie:

From the time you were just Ellie in my belly and not fully formed into my Ellie Bellie I knew you were a girl. Once that feeling was confirmed on the giant ultrasound screen at the fancy 3D place on the Northside (that I just had to go to because I couldn’t wait 6 more weeks to confirm my suspicions) there was an even bigger flood of excitement. I knew if you were a girl people would buy you tons of pretty dresses to wear, your grandparents would be over the moon because you’d be the first girl grandchild on both sides of the family, and me and Daddy would name you after our maternal grandmothers as Daddy had suggested years before. Yep, I knew all of this just because you were a girl. But my baby being a girl doesn’t define everything about you, especially when it comes to what some may think they know about you “just because you’re a girl”. Knowing you were a girl didn’t tell me that you’d actually grow to like Nike sweats like daddy wear just as much as you dresses (most times you like them better). Knowing you were a girl also didn’t tell me that you’d like space so much and have early dreams of being an astronaut or that my own idea of being a woman and raising one would be tested. There are a lot of things that just knowing whether or not you were a girl could never tell me. Being a girl is fun, challenging, magical, empowering, draining, and a whole lot of other things all wrapped into one, most times on a daily basis. Society might try to define that for you but you don’t have to let it. There’s nothing wrong with going to the “boys section” to find the cute astronaut hat you would like because for some reason the clothing designer just didn’t think girls would want it. There’s also nothing wrong with loving the fluffy dress that you’ll only wear once. Define your femininity for yourself based off your likes and dislikes, and let it ever evolve. The other morning I caught you staring at me, doing your normal observations, and you said “Mommy why do you like dresses so much”. I gave my take “they’re comfortable”, “I think I look pretty in them”, “This one has pockets!”. I could see your wheels start to turn as they always do and you responded “My sweat suit is comfortable and I look pretty too.” All I could say was, “it sure is and you sure do my baby”. May you always have that much confidence in yourself and be able to take outside reflections of yourself and apply it in a way that feels right for you. I can’t tell you how often you’ll be one of the only girls at space or science camp, what sports you’ll like, or if you’ll continue to hold interest in things like hair and nails. I can tell you though that since the moment I knew you were a girl I knew you’d be strong, smart, beautiful, and that Daddy and I would do our absolute best to give you what you need to face a world that isn’t always kind to little brown girls. Building yourself, and in this case my child, up from the inside out is what makes a strong foundation not what we put on the outside and I hope you always remember that.

Love Always,

Mommy

P.S.- To every little girl: YOU’RE AMAZING!! So amazing that without us life would cease. I imagine for some that’s scary. Maybe that’s why society tries to project an image that girls are weaker or have to fit in a box. In reality though you can be whoever you want to be! And no matter what has happened in the past, even if you yourself have felt weaker or stuck in a box you can always start anew. You’re a girl, be proud of that, and define that for yourself.

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Hear it, see it, speak it

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Dear Ellie:

There’s a saying that goes hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. I never really put much thought into it until earlier when I thought about the opposite hear good, see good, speak good. I realized then that it’s just another way of saying, something I’m sure you will have heard me say by now, the power of life and death is in the tongue. No matter how small or overwhelmed you may feel you have the power to change your situation by changing your outlook. Speak life into whatever it is that you feel is failing. But my baby before you do that be still and listen, make sure you are hearing what’s really intended for your life when you ask for guidance. There will be times that you will focus on something you think you want so badly that you will rush to speak life into something that was meant to be left in the dust. Which is why it’s so important not to skip the first step “hearing”. You also have to see good for yourself. When you feel far away from your goals you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and see yourself already there. Don’t wait until you’ve “made it” to see yourself there. Your outlook of your journey to success will be much different (not easier but different) if you picture yourself as already successful. There’s power in viewing something as a lesson instead of a set back. So whether you write it down, talk to yourself in the mirror, or anything else you have to visualize the good. Then my baby you definitely have to SPEAK good into your life. You can speak the impossible into reality if you just have faith. More than that though be sure you surround yourself who speak good for you to hear, who you see as good in your life, and who speak life into you (when you’re around and when you’re not) and be sure you do the same for them. Your uncle or Khalu as you probably call him by now spoke such positive energy and life into my idea of starting this blog for you and it’s moments and people like that will help you to press forward when don’t think you have it in you. Faith, will, and determination are stronger than any obstacle that will be thrown your way because it helps you to keep your joy. Combine that with support and you are unstoppable my baby. So when those obstacles pop up, as they always will, take a pause and remember to hear, see, and speak the good you want in your life my baby.

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl feeling lost, alone, set back, or like a failure….you’re not any of those things. I full heartedly believe that you are always exactly where you are supposed to be and if you’re not where you want to be then focusing on the problem will not move you forward. Speak life where you thought your goals, dignity, self respect, or dreams had died. You can do it just believe it!

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A Flip of the Hair

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Dear Ellie:

I always knew that when I had a daughter she was pretty much destined for a full thick head of hair and sure enough you came into the world with a gorgeous full head of curls. I can’t predict what the hair trends will be as you grow up but I can promise to help you to always love the hair growing from your head. But I won’t stop there I promise to help you love every part of your natural self. Step 1 in my plan to do that is to be an example for you. It dawned on me when your two front teeth came in that you would have a gap between those teeth just like Mommy a gap that I had been pondering getting closed (for the second time…just a tip if you get braces don’t loose your retainer). Seeing you with the same gap made me change my mind for the same reason that I’ve chosen not to straighten my hair more often…because I want you to grow up with confidence in what God provided you with and I think the best way to do that is to reflect it in myself. So whether you choose to straighten your hair, get braces, wear high heels if you end up with mommy’s height, or anything else be sure you are able to make those choices from a place where you are comfortable with yourself just how you are when you wake up. You are gorgeous my baby from your curly hair strands to your unpainted toe nails anything you add will not increase your beauty only compliment it because you are already created in the most beautiful light. I love you more than I could ever put in words my baby and I hope that love pours out and forms a solid foundation for you to love yourself just as much. And on those days when your curls just won’t behave or you doubt yourself as young girls often do I’ll be here to reassure you until you can find your way back to confidence.

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the young girl who thinks she needs anything extra to showcase her beauty you don’t! Certainly one of the most fun parts of being a girl can be playing dress up but before you add the extras remember to stop look in the mirror and tell yourself you beautiful because you truly are enough just as you are God made sure of that!