Tag Archives: mother

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Carpe Diem

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Dear Ellie:

One thing that traveling is likely to remind you of is that in life sometimes you have to just go for it. As you will know by the time you read this Mommy is a very picky eater, and that’s putting it mildly; but on my trip to London and South Africa I have eaten fish, ostrich, goat, barracuda, and a few items that I’m not even sure I know the name of (but I drew the line at the caterpillar). My motto every time I ate something new has been “Carpe Diem” (or seize the day) and “When in Rome…Do as the Romans”. But my baby I want to remind you that while you should definitely make the most of every new experience, you don’t have to travel around the world to seize the day. Sometimes seizing the day just means going for your dreams like your Uncle who just published his first book. If you have a dream, which I know you will, you don’t have to wait for some magical sign from the universe saying this is exactly the right time, because that may never come. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and jump. I can’t promise that it will work out perfectly anymore than I can promise that I will eat goat again but I can tell you that you won’t regret it. People who live life to the fullest and make the most of every opportunity rarely speak of regrets because they are to busy appreciating the lessons. As a toddler your confidence is inspiring you see something you want to try and because you don’t have a sense of logic or fear you just go for it; I promise to encourage you to keep that spirit for as long as possible. In life there are certainly healthy fears but my baby you don’t always have to fear the unknown sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and seize the day because a second chance is never a guarantee.

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the girl trying to plan every single moment to be perfect…stop. I’ve learned that life does not work that way. While preparation is certainly important, often there is no better time than the present. So whatever it is that you keep putting off until tomorrow…just go for it. There’s no age requirement for going after your dreams…in fact the world just might be waiting for you to do it. So what ever it is you’re putting off for tomorrow I challenge you to just go for it…it’s your day so seize it!

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For Your Consideration

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Dear Ellie:

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned, and I’m still learning, from being a wife and mom is the art of constantly being considerate of others. I say art because I think its something that may come natural or that we can learn from observation but to truly be considerate it takes practice and care. It takes skill to stop yourself in the midst of your anger, busy day, or selfishness and truly think about how that other person must be feeling or what their reaction would be to your action. You will have a time in your life where you will have the right to be selfish and to do things that are best for just you regardless of others because you won’t truly be responsible for anyone else and during that time I will do my best to encourage you to enjoy it. While there are certainly perks to being tied to you and Daddy I know that I can appreciate it so much more because I was able to freely enjoy other phases of my life and I can look back now with the understanding that while I cared about and took into consideration the feelings of those I love I ultimately made decisions based on my thoughts and feelings. But while I want you to enjoy that phase of your life as well I also want you to also remember that for every action there is a reaction and we are never really alone; we are always connected to those around us. So with that in mind my baby be sure to be considerate of others and what their role is in your life and vice versa. Despite the fact that me and Daddy’s world revolve around you the entire planet does not operate like that (shocking I know). Before you ask something of someone be sure to consider if the tables were turned would you do what you are asking of that person and if you did how would you feel about it. When we sharpen our ability to connect with the feelings of others around us it essentially leads to us being better human beings. It is not enough though to be aware of others feelings but we have to constantly make an active decision to care. That sounds easy but when your own feelings get hurt, or your desires hang over your head, or we begin to move so fast that it all becomes a blur of things we are unaware of in the midst of our tunnel vision we can easily miss this major piece to the puzzle. I hope for you to always keep your heart free to love and care and to never let it harden over so that you can’t connect your humanity with that of another person. I hope that you don’t allow the world to desensitize you to the traumas of others or the daily emotions of those in your life as they are equally important.

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the girl who is proud to say “I don’t care”…this is not a bragging right my dear. Whatever has occurred to harden your heart that it can no longer function to its full capacity to love and care for another person…let it go. Be considerate of your self and allow your self the opportunity to freely use your heart. Be brave enough to care despite the pain.

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Law of Energy

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Dear Ellie:

If I wouldn’t have had to take extra chemistry classes I secretly think that I would have been a physicist. Next to Psychology, Physics was my favorite class in high school and though I don’t even remotely use anything I learned from that class in my day to day life (and no that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to study for your physics exam) I still remember the things I learned. One of those things is the law of conservation which says that energy cannot be created or destroyed however it can be transferred. This is not only true for kinetic, mechanical, or chemical but also for your personal spiritual energy. I believe that we transfer our energy back and forth everyday. When you get older you will notice that when a stranger is nice to you it may put a smile on your face or encourage you to be nice to another stranger; that my baby is a simple exchange of positive energy. You may also notice that being around someone who is always angry, usually for someone unknown reason, will drain you and that my baby is because that pulls on our energy too. I believe that we pull on the people’s energy around us subconsciously to balance our own energy levels. The further you allow yourself to get away from your positive energy the harder you will have to work to get it back. With that being said it is imperative that you surround yourself with people who can pour positivity into you. You also have to pour back the amount of positive energy into people that they pour into you. I would say pour into people what they pour into you but pouring negativity into people who try to drown you in their toxic energy will not do you any good. There will be people, whether family, friend or foe, who will not deserve your energy and that’s ok…you do not have to be everything to every body. Please do not wait until years down the line to realize you are constantly spreading yourself thin for people who wouldn’t do the same for you. But I also don’t want you think that you have to play tit for tat all energy is not exchanged the same way. For instance, between you and Daddy I have every single ounce of good vibes I need to get me through my day by 7am simply by being in your presence so don’t ever worry about buying me expensive gifts to match the money I’ve spent on you or anything like that because being around you is more than enough. If you know someone is a good force in your life then be that for them in whatever way you’re able. And in that same breath remember that everyone’s energy doesn’t mix so don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t support you or pour into you the way you would hope. I promise you that you have every ounce of positive energy behind you that you need. Even when I’m not physically with you my thoughts and prayers are always with you and so are the thoughts and prayers of a lot of other people’s that love you. Some people will never even express their support for you but you will feel their energy and some people will claim to love and support you yet you never feel anything but negativity from them. Use your energy radar to guide you and appreciate those who give you their positivity because its an asset that we can’t afford to waste in this world.

 

Love You Always,

Mommy

 

P.S. To the girl waiting on someone to love you or show you they care please don’t waste your time. If someone is supposed to be on your side they will be no one is obligated to you. All we can truly do in life is appreciate those who help to restore our good energy when the world steals it away. And even though we should appreciate those people you don’t have to wait for them..take the time to do whatever you need to do to heal and get yourself back to a place of positivity.

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Point of it All

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Dear Ellie:

When Mommy and Daddy got married our wedding song was “Point of it All” by Anthony Hamilton and every time we go to a wedding or hear that song played it brings me back to my wedding day. There was so much love in the room that day and I felt love beaming from the look in Daddy’s eyes as I walked down the aisle. I truly hope that you are able to see and feel love around you because I strongly believe that it’s the point of it all. Life is better when you spend it with people you love, do what you love, and give love. I pray that no matter what, you don’t allow yourself to become so jaded that you loose hope in love. In its purest form, love is the closest we get to heaven on earth. When the winds are blowing and times are tough it’s love that will give you peace and make you remember what’s truly important. If one day you wake up and realize you have put love of whatever kind on the back burner stop and do some reevaluating. I can’t tell you how long any of us have on Earth but I can tell you that love makes how ever long we have worth it. When I’ve had a long day, I’m frustrated, or down there is nothing that picks me up faster than seeing you and Daddy smile. When I think about the sacrifices I make I never have to wonder “what’s the point”. You are the point my baby, a perfect reflection of the love you were created from. I admire how you love so fearlessly in your innocence. What ever it is that will make you happy whether it’s a hug from mommy, a spin from daddy, or “petting” the dog you just go for it. I know life will teach you boundaries and a healthy amount of fear but don’t ever let it stop you from loving because if you’re not using your heart what’s the point?

I love you always my baby

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl (or broken woman) who looked for love to soon or to long in the wrong places it’s ok to stop, reevaluate, and find a way to love yourself again. Start loving yourself and it will flow from there.

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Have a Seat

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Dear Ellie:

Today Daddy and I were stuck in what felt like stand still traffic for about 30 minutes. We had no choice but to just sit and wait for our turn to move. It reminded me that sometimes in life you too my baby will have to sit and wait. But I hope you realize during those times when it feels like you’re going no where things are always working around you and there are always things to be grateful for whether it’s that you have a good working vehicle to sit in, a healthy body to wait with or that you have someone who loves you to help pass the time. Remember you can always make the choice to focus on the good. There is good to be found in the times of waiting it is during those times we learn and exercise patience which is truly a blessing. If you are impatient you can rush in to a place that you didn’t intend to end up at. Be patient my baby there is a reason you are waiting and you have to have faith in that even during the times when it’s not your place to know why you’re waiting (which is most of the time). Sometimes once you get past your road block you’ll see it was wreck thar you were saved from or construction where something had to be worked on to possibly make the road easier in the future and then sometimes my baby you will break through traffic and feel like there was traffic for no reason at all but there’s always a reason so just be grateful for the break through. Just continue to focus on your destination and you will arrive exactly when you are supposed to trust me. I promise to never let you wait alone just keep moving my baby the road may be long but you will make it!

Love you always

Mommy

P.S. The same goes for every girl wondering when it will be her time. It’s always your time whether it’s your time to prepare yourself or your time in the spotlight each phase is important so you’re never really stuck even though it feels that way just focus on the positive and keep pushing soon enough the traffic will clear and you will press forward!

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No Pain No Gain

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Dear Ellie:

I love our morning work outs, I actually think you have better squat form than me. You are the best work out partner I could have you cheer me on and push me when I’d rather not spend one more second planking because I want to set the example for you to KEEP GOING even when its tough. There’s a saying “no pain no gain” and its true you have to work for what you want whether it’s your waistline back after becoming a mommy or the perfect job. Whatever it is you want in life love bug you have to put in the work. I pray you never take your blessings as a sign that things will be handed to you. Your parents, grand parents, great grand parents, and so on and so forth all work/worked hard to provide for themselves and their families. So I hope to never hear you say that you want something then see you sitting and waiting for it to happen. You have to dream big then wake up and hit the ground running. And yes there will be times that you will have to wait for your blessing to come but it is in that time that you prepare yourself for what is meant for you. Continue to walk in the direction of your dreams my baby life is about forward movement. Keep working and keep striving you were born to be great, break records, set new standards, and reach beyond the highest expectations but you have to work through the growing pains to gain the blessings entitled to you. I don’t promise that it’ll be easy in fact at times it will be really tough but have confidence in knowing that what God has intended for you is for you alone and no one else’s blessings will take away from yours so focus on your goals and go for it my love bug!! And always remember my baby when it gets rough and you can’t hold that plank one more second I’ll always be here to return the favor and cheer you on.

Love You Always

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl (or the little girl inside you) daydreaming about what she really wants to do go do it NOW. Maybe it won’t happen overnight but its better to spend your time working toward a dream than simply wishing for it. The first step is better than no step at all on any day.

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Sunshine & Thunderstorms

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Dear Ellie:

You played in the sun all day today. In fact every time the sun shines I try to make sure we take advantage partly because I want you to be active and partly because selfishly I want to spend as much time seeing you play as possible because it truly makes my day so much better. Also considering you braved your first brutal, drawn out, harsh, arctic Chicago winter like a seasoned professional you deserve every bit of sun that you can get. Today though as we took a walk with Daddy I realized that it was probably going to storm just as the weather man predicted and I mentioned that I needed to get a new umbrella because my old one broke and Daddy turned and said to me “well the rain is going to come”. A simple enough response and the kind you probably know by now your Daddy always gives. But with this simple response it dawned on me that we really do have to enjoy the sunshine and I mean realllly enjoy it not do the things we love but still have our worries and troubles in the back of our minds. I truly hope you live in the moment. Even when you get to your teen years and have that pimple that just won’t go away or when you enter “the real world” and every time you check the mail there’s a bill. No matter what phase of life you are in when you read this live in your moment and define your moment for what you want it to be not by what is thrown at you. Because my baby the storm will come and it will thunder, lighting, hail and more but just as sure as it will come the storm will go and you’ll realize a few rain drops even a couple pieces of hail did not destroy you. And when your storm comes I hope that you didn’t spend your moment in the sun before the storm worrying about how loud the thunder would be or how hard it would pour. You can’t control the weather and you can’t stop hard times from coming but you can enjoy every good moment so much so that the storm doesn’t seem so bad. And tonight the storm did in fact come just like Daddy said but even when I cringed as the thunder rumbled and the rain fell because I didn’t want it to wake you, you stayed peaceful. So I pray that during your storms you find peace just like you had tonight even long after Mommy is no longer there (or wanted) to rock you to sleep. There will be times that you’ll want to pray for the storm to end or for a way out but some storms you just have to weather and honestly my baby its not as bad as it seems that I can promise you. In fact when you can look back and realize that you now know who’s truly in your corner because they were the ones holding up your umbrella or even your own strength to keep pressing when you can only see two inches in front of you in the rain that in itself will be worth it. Have faith that each moment has its purpose the good, bad and ugly. You don’t have to know the big picture just HAVE FAITH. And my baby believe me even when you think you’ve figured out the big picture little do you know there are a million more pieces to the puzzle. So again I say just enjoy your sunshine don’t worry yourself about the storms because they are sure to come and they are sure to go. 

Love Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl standing in the rain with no shelter in sight have faith that no storm last forever and the storm doesn’t mean that your journey ends sometimes its a sign to take another route or sometimes it just an opportunity to dance. And remember you are not alone every one experiences rain it never falls on just one person. So however you choose to face your storm know that you can make back to your sunshine. 

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A Different World

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Dear Ellie,

I love to watch you in your innocence like when I’m watching “A Different World” and you smile and dance to the theme song. To you it’s just a song you recognize and like but to fans of the show it’s a sitcom representation of the experience that only a small group are lucky to know. I thought of this because today is May 19th a date I’m likely to never forget because it’s the date I graduated from college. I didn’t graduate from just any college though I attended and graduated from a HBCU (historically black college or university) and so did Daddy. I’m sure by the time you read this you will have heard Daddy and I talk about our HBCU’s a ton but I truly hope you grasp the importance of them. Regardless of if you attend Clark Atlanta University like me, Grambling State University like daddy, or any other college (should you choose to go to college at all) I want you to always respect the value of learning because it is an opportunity that was not afforded to many of your ancestors and many girls around the world still fight to be able to learn. I’m writing you this today because while you are blissfully unaware we currently live in the age of social media where a person can make a public statement to the entire world in a matter of seconds whether intentional or not. This was the case recently when a young lady chose to make a statement regarding a GPA at a HBCU being inferior to the same GPA at a “rigorous” PWI. I’m relaying this story to you not because her opinion is special but because it is likely to continue to be shared by others. But my baby I hope you know that it is the person that matters not the GPA. Your Daddy is a perfect example with multiple degrees from both an HBCU and “rigorous” PWI’s but what makes him amazing has nothing to do with his degrees where they came from or the GPA that accompanies them it’s his determination and all the qualities that got him where he is the same qualities that our ancestors had when they literally risked their lives to get an education. To them it did not matter if their GPA was “comparable” but rather that it was theirs they earned it and it could not be taken away from them. It was also those qualities that made Malala Yousafzai speak out for her right to be educated even after being shot in the head for doing so. You too my baby have those qualities and it’s what will push you to the other side of the mountains that try to block your path but when you find yourself on the other side I hope you remember the uphill battles that were fought before you to carve an easier path. Most importantly never look down on those who still have to chop their way through rugged terrain because maybe just maybe they are headed to higher plateau than you think.

Love You Always (even if you don’t choose my alma mater),

Mommy

P.S. To every young girl take charge of your education if your school system is failing find a way or make one to educate yourself. You’re brilliant believe that and take stock in your intelligence.

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My Girl, Your World

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Dear Ellie:

By the time you read this you won’t remember but ever since you were just Ellie in my Bellie your Daddy played songs like My Girl by the Temptations for you. And at least twice a day one of our bear hugs includes me saying “Hi My Baby” and that’s just what you are daddy’s girl and my baby…our precious little girl. I know your presence in our lives is exactly why the recent events that include over 200 girls being taken from a school in Nigeria and some of the kidnapped girls being subsequently sold into “marriage” hit my heart so hard. I don’t know if this event will be included in your school history books especially because unfortunately history books will not always includes stories about girls that look like you, just like the girls who were taken, with brown skin and curly hair. But my baby I promise to always teach you about your world and our history. I hope you take my efforts to do this as a lesson to always search for your own truths and to learn as much about your world as you can. When I say your world I mean the whole globe because it’s right there at your finger tips. You are fortunate to live in a world where information is so readily available to you. So I hope your world view at 5 will be bigger than mine when I first traveled internationally at 20. You are my girl but this is your world and as you explore it I hope you find goodness in it but when you learn of things that will tug at your heart like 100’s of parents crying out for a terrorist group to bring back our girls its then that you should remember this is your world and you can make a difference in it. So whether you choose to be a hands on revolutionist raising your fist against the powers that be, a doctor traveling to the far corners of the earth donating medical services, an educator that inspires future generations, or just someone who cares for others in their time of need be active in your world and never let anyone tell you that your part doesn’t make a difference because we need you and your gift. Learn your history so you can know your truth and explore your world so you can find your place in it.

 

Love You Always My Baby!

Mommy

P.S. Every little girl is important and has a place and purpose in the world. No one can stop you but you. So I pray every night that not only are the girls captured from their school in Nigeria returned but also that they remember they are still here and the world still needs them. So whether a kidnapper or a bully there are cowards in the world don’t let them break you WE NEED YOU!