Tag Archives: self love

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Leap of Faith

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Dear Ellie:

I have been meaning to write this letter for weeks. Note to self and to you time never stops flying, which actually leads me into what I want to share with you. Time is an amazing concept it can feel different to people though its the same. For instance I just commented to Daddy that this week came quickly and is moving quickly and he replied that it felt slow to him. We had experienced the same 72 hours yet the perception of them was different. With that being time is an unreliable source at times. We can never be fully sure in many cases when its the “right time” for something. Often we have to pray on it, look for signs in the universe, and hope to God we’re making the right choice. There will also be times that we don’t receive as many signs or a clear enough answer on our prayers (honestly it will likely be most of the time) to feel 100% confident in our choices but time keeps moving and we can’t always put those choices off. In those moments we have to take a leap of faith. Dive head first into a life change, a new job, a completely new avenue for our lives. The older I get the more I find that there is rarely a perfect answer and that’s ok! Some of the decision I have made that made the least sense on paper or felt the most unsteady about because of the “risk” have some how led me here today and if nothing else taught me a lesson I value. Many of the biggest decisions I have made thus far in life I had no real way of knowing how it would all work out; in fact some of them I still don’t know. Marriage for instance is all about faith, putting total faith in someone else. The clearest answer I ever received from God was about whether your Daddy and I were meant to be but that doesn’t mean I know what will come from one day to another only that when I leaped I had enough faith to carry through the good and everything else. Being your mother is the absolute last thing I’d trade in the world but it is a constant leap of faith to do this thing as right as I can for you and to know when to acknowledge when I’m not. All around you in your village I see key people in your life reaching for bigger and better, quitting jobs, carving new paths, trying new things, and I’m so encouraged by those leaps of faith. I hope watching people you have faith in having faith in themselves encourages you and gives you the push you need when its time to leap. Its those leaps that land us on the other side of greatness. So take a deep breath, say a prayer, brace yourself, and leap. Even if you fall sometimes that’s what the leap was really all about.

Love Always,

Mommy

P.S.- To the little girl who can’t find the courage or encouragement to go after that dream job, take a chance on herself, or walk away from something unhealthy…YOU CAN DO IT! I don’t promise it’ll be perfect, I don’t know how long the journey will take but I do know that if its on your heart then half of the benefit of leaping is in the knowing and no longer questioning the what if’s. If you’re wondering should I go for it, should I take a chance on myself let this be a resounding YES for you!

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Mirror Mirror

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Dear Ellie:

This past weekend while at the grocery store a nice lady approached us and complemented you on how pretty you were and then told me that you looked just like me. Even though I think you are the perfect mix of Mommy and Daddy we often get that compliment while out and about. I’m not sure if people realize how big that is to me or if they are just making an observation, probably the latter. But my baby I don’t think I’ve ever received a bigger or better compliment than when people say you remind them of me or that you look just like me. Sometimes I even catch myself off guard looking through the thousands of pictures I’ve taken of you and have to agree that it really is like looking in a mirror some days. Can you imagine someone comparing you to your picture of perfection…talk about an ego boost! You are gorgeous my baby with your chubby cheeks, beautiful eyes that melt my heart, that head full of curls, and of course the smile that can brighten my whole week in an instant. I might stan so hard for you because you’re my baby but you truly are undeniably gorgeous. It’s not just your features though love bug it’s the brightness around you that brings out your beauty. And it’s that light that shines over you that I hope you never loose. I also hope that as you grow if people keep telling you that we look alike or that you remind them of me I hope that makes you smile. As I got older family and friends would start to say wow you are starting to look like your mom which is in stark contrast to being my Daddy’s twin from the day I was born. In my heart though I know its not really a change in features but more so that as I grew older I began to take on traits that I learned from my Mommy. The way she carried herself, the way she demanded respect, her confidence, and definitely her sassiness are all traits that before I knew it became my own. So in thinking about this I have decided even more so that if our mothers are our first mirrors in which we see ourselves as women then I promise your mirror will reflect the very best of you. I remember being pregnant with you and being very aware of the things I said and the music I listened to. Now as I have conversations with you that I know you can’t quite understand, yet I believe they reach your spirit, and I write you these open letters that you can’t read yet I have watched my words turn into actions. Thank you my baby for making me better and helping me to remember that there is always a higher plateau to reach. There is nothing wrong with becoming a better person by your own definition despite the backlash you may receive from people who say “you’ve changed”. In that same breath when you grow up it will be you looking back in the mirror not anyone else so live by your own expectations not anyone else’s. If you can focus on that, your own continuous journey, you will also find you have less and less time or energy to judge the journey of those around you. What is for you is for you. There are a million lessons, laughs, experiences, destinations, etc out there waiting that have been designed just for you. Don’t delay your blessings worrying about those whose time on your journey has ended or whose role in your play has changed. That light that I hope you keep comes from being free of unhealthy relationships, focusing on the positive, and loving yourself. When you can look in your mirror and see all the beauty God created in you it is so much easier to see it every where else as well. When I realized my Mommy was my mirror I was so proud and in awe of her. She loves her family with every ounce of her being and to be compared to someone like that is humbling. So I promise to work every single day to make you proud, to provide you with opportunities big and small, and to be an example of the type of woman you don’t have to be but wouldn’t mind being.

Love You Always,

Mommy

 

P. S. To the little who is searching for a mirror that reflects the kind of beauty she hopes to see, they are out there. Mirrors are everywhere in your coach, the lady that sits down the row from you at church, your best friend, the list goes on. Search for beauty in your community and before you know it you will see it in yourself too. And if you haven’t found that mirror become one. Everyday new little girls are born into this world and every single one of them could use someone that reflects the greatness they are capable of.