Dear Ellie:

I had a thought in mind as I went to write this letter to you and then I heard of the passing of another legend, Ruby Dee. As I tell you all the time, and will continue to, its one of my most important missions in life to ensure that you know and respect the stories of those that came before you so I don’t doubt that by the time you read this on your own you will know who the fabulously talented Ruby Dee was. So today I’m not writing to you about just her exactly but more so the love she had with her husband who passed before her Ossie Davis. Not only did they act in countless movies, plays, etc together they also strived together to fight for things they believed in. I remember seeing pictures of them or watching old movies with my Granny and thinking “man that’s love”. They just exuded love; you could see it in every picture, mannerisms, and look. And I’m sure that there were days when they couldn’t stand each other (cause that’s how love works) but they were the definition of a unit. They remind me of another power couple. They weren’t famous or anything but their love was powerful enough. I’m speaking of my Granny and Grandaddy Paul. My Mommy’s Daddy passed before I was born so I never had the chance to meet him but I could always feel him around. He was in the way your Granny spoke and even there in the dead of night when she would call out to him in her sleep. I remember once she was asked why she never remarried and she said…”To Who?”. She was so taken aback at the question as though it never crossed her mind. She said…”Who else was there?” And in that moment I remember thinking I want a love like a that. A love so powerful that it could help change laws in a country where human beings were seen as less than because of the color or their skin and at the same time so powerful that you couldn’t even imagine life with someone else. The kind of love that gives you confidence that this is it from every up, down, left, and right you know in your heart of hearts you love someone that you can ride it out until the wheels fall off. Some people may say that that’s just how love used to be that they don’t make love like that anymore. Well my baby I think that God is love and with that being my truth how could I ever believe that the kind of love that will last a lifetime doesn’t exist anymore. And I’m so thankful that I know in my heart you will grow up seeing love because he gave me your Daddy. Yes things and times change but a heart is a heart and love is love. But at the same time I don’t want your life to be all about chasing love of a person, because when it’s right it will find you, but I do hope that you always believe in love my baby. After your first, second, or third heart break I hope you keep believing; and I hope that belief helps you to realize that you don’t have to settle for just any love. And my baby everybody’s love looks different so don’t strive for a relationship like Mommy and Daddy’s or even Ruby Dee and Ossie. There’s a love that God created and intended just for you and no one has to understand it but you. And my hopes for you go beyond love for another person I hope the kind of love I’m telling you about consumes your whole life. I pray you have a career that you love and allows you to serve your purpose, that you have hobbies you love, and that life takes you places you fall in love with. Who says every moment of life can’t be great?! Yes as I’ve told you there will be hard times along your journey but when you know in you’re heart that its just a part of a journey toward something you love it makes it so much more worth it. So my baby love hard even if you can’t explain but you know its right go for it. And if that love leaves you I hope you find it again like Ossie has Ruby again and Herbert got Elizabeth back.

Love You Always,

Mommy

P.S. To the little girl searching for love…STOP! Love isn’t a scavenger hunt or a game of hide and seek. It will find you when you least expect it. Just keep living and loving yourself, your life, and your purpose (even if you don’t know what it is yet) and eventually you will attract the love God intended for you. The kind of love you won’t have to beg for or feel bad about. Just a regular old day in day out I love you even at your worst type of love.